Holding Sacred Space

I recently had the opportunity to hold sacred space for a patient in clinic. This mama is struggling with gender disappointment. Missing out on things being solely a boy mama. And feeling guilty about it. This is not ok. The hormones of early pregnancy don’t make things any easier. Emotions are amplified. We need to lean on each other to work through these feelings. 

I can relate with feelings of missing out as baby #2 is not in the cards for me. I don’t know that it ever was. I’d love to give my girl a sibling. Several close friends around me are on baby #2 or more and I couldn’t be happier for them. And it’s still really really hard for me. The life I have is so far from the life I imagined so many years ago. 

 I have to always come back to gratitude. I adore my little family. I am slowly starting to see the timing of it all was perfectly designed by the Universe. Neither of us would have been ready even a day earlier. So I intentionally savor moments each day with my little human. I try not to take any part of our life for granted. 

We all have our things that are tough. 

I remember so distinctly before my tiny human, thinking that other woman who were lucky enough to be mamas had no right to “complain” about not having what they wanted with the way their family looked. I couldn’t understand. 

Now I understand so so clearly. Some days I have to give myself a lot of grace because I feel so guilty that I now have what I yearned for so deeply for all those years. 

And it brings me back to IMMENSE gratitude. 

I’m the luckiest mama in the world that I was able to have my baby. The tiny human who chose me to be her mama. My one and only. 

I’m deeply honored that I get to hold space for these women and walk with them on their journeys, because I’ve been there. I know the feelings. I understand the big emotions. Reminding them to give themselves some grace. 

It doesn’t matter if we are trying for baby # 1 or baby #12, a foster or adoption placement, we need to be kind to one another. Open our hearts and really listen to each other. No judgement. No guilt. All love. The saying “ It takes a village” is true. My village is still small but I’m getting there. 

I’m here to hold space for any woman of any age with whatever emotions and feelings she’s walking through. 

Others have helped me, now it’s my turn to give back.